Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
