I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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