i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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