is your mom at the bar?
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize