I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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