just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Text me some of your sweat
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
