Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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