end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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