Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
