Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
