I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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