five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
