WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize