The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
