I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
