someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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