all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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