UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
