In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
