My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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