You really coming over, don't trick.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize