Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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