how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
