Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
