so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
