# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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