i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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