Yo dont text me then not text me
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Randomize
