Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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