3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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