Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
