I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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