no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
