Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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