Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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