there was a trapeze. enough said
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize