How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
kristin has been a bad kristin
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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