Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Jerry, you need to find god
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
