i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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