problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
