Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
