Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
