We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
and you fell through a lawn chair
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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