I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
