He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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