The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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