Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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