i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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