i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Randomize
