so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Randomize
