Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Come on in and take your pants off
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