this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
