I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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