I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
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