love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize