Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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