Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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