My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
There are leaves in my underwear?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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