She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
