you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
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